Your sexual identity is more about who you really are, than the box into which you are supposed to fit. Liberate yourself from sexual repression and achieve your ideal balance between your sexual needs and desires and your beliefs and value systems.

Round and round goes the confusion of Sexual Identity …

Confusion surrounding sexual identity is not uncommon. It could have started at an early age and by the time you reached early adolescence it became a distressing or confusing issue. Even in late adulthood, it is still just as distressing, sometimes more so. It can seem very confusing at times, when you experience sexual attraction to the same sex, yet emotionally you feel attracted to the opposite sex.

Sometimes it’s the other way around and yet other times unwanted or confusing advances leave you doubting your sexual identity. At times your needs and desires are in direct conflict with your beliefs and value systems, leaving you sexually, emotionally and spiritually stranded.

There is more to me than what I do in bed

Sexual identity, sexual orientation and sexual practice together make the three parts that define your Sexuality.

Sexual orientation is based on your consistent sexual preferences, in effect who you are most consistently aroused by. You could be attracted to the same sex, the opposite sex, or both. Sexual practice is the sexual activity itself i.e. what you do when you have sex. All three aspects can and often do change over time.

Society has categorised sexual identity into heterosexual, gay, lesbian or bisexual.

Some people are happy conforming to these identities, but for you these ‘boxes’ may be too limiting as they do not reflect your individuality and how you see yourself. You can be a perfectly happily married man who sees himself as heterosexual, yet be attracted to, and have sex with other men.

In effect your sexual identity is different to your sexual practice. You can be a woman consistently attracted to other women yet define yourself as being ‘straight’.

Thus your sexual identity does not match your sexual orientation.

The pressure to fit the mold

The pressure to conform - to be ‘straight’ can at time be intolerable. Expectations can stem from your work, family, social environment, cultural background, religious beliefs and even from yourself. Other people can find being homosexual threatening; ‘Queer bashing’ is not uncommon, derogatory comments about ‘Butch Dykes’ and ‘mincing poofs’ can leave you feeling isolated, fearful of taking the steps you need to live the life you want.

What chance do you have of finding sexual satisfaction in your intimate relationships if you are not living the life that is reflecting your true sexuality? Perhaps for you, denial seems the best option; in the hope that living ‘straight’ will mean that eventually your desires will subside. You may have lived like this for years, hope tempered by the constant fear that one day you will slip up and your ‘secret’ will be exposed.

Maybe you have constantly had to repress your sexuality and living this way has caused you great inner turmoil. At times you are depressed and you feel isolated from all around you. Perhaps you have suicidal thoughts and cannot see a way out of your impossible situation. If you did, you would not be alone in those thoughts, but does life have to end with those thoughts, or could there be another way – a way that works for you?

I … accept me

The process of accepting who you are can be profoundly difficult. There can be many conflicting thoughts running simultaneously: What am I? Why do I have to choose? What will others think of me? What about my friends? Will my family and parents accept me? What about my Wife? What about my husband? How can I tell my children?

And perhaps the two most important questions:

Who am I?

Can I accept myself?

For those struggling with their sexual identity, these can be the biggest issues of all.

For you, perhaps the thought of being gay is actually repellent and contradicts your beliefs, cultural or religious upbringing and more significantly the way you have always thought about yourself. There could be a real sense of revulsion - it’s not uncommon; and a sense of self loathing that is an almost homophobic self hatred.

These feelings drive some to depression, others to self harm and yet more to contemplate and act upon their suicidal thoughts.

At times it can feel daunting trying to come to terms with how you feel about yourself and your sexual identity. Perhaps you have battled with repressed feelings for years and are only now trying to approach this subject for the first time. Accepting who you are can be a difficult, anxious and uncertain process.

It can feel as if you have to make life changing and tough decisions and choices that can seem daunting to you. For others it can be a time of profound relief – an emotional rollercoaster that enables you finally to be the person you have always wanted to be. By overcoming your fears and anxieties you take the first steps in your journey to be the person you want to be.

I choose to be open … Coming Out

Once you have accepted your sexuality, coming out to others can be the next major stressor in your life. How will they accept it? Will they still treat me in the same way? Will they make fun of me? Will they isolate me, reject me or even be violent towards me? Sometimes even the thought of coming out fills you with fear and anxiety.

There can be so many questions and even thinking about the answers can leave you fearful and anxious of taking the next step. You don’t want to hide your sexuality any longer, but to tell others feels loaded with risk.

You fear being questioned; ‘Are you sure?’, ‘is it just a ‘phase’ you’re going through? Many peoples do hide their sexuality for years for fear of coming out to others, for fear of being exposed, of being vulnerable, of violence and of rejection.

Many choose to consciously take this path – they have their reasons. But for you this might not be the case. You want to come out, to tell the world who you really are, but you stand at a junction in your life either not knowing how to, or even if you are able to do so. Perhaps you have stood at this point for a long time. Are you ready to take the next step and resolve the issues that stop you making the choices you need to move your life in the direction you need?

I am no longer who they think I am …

Your sexuality does not have to be fixed. It can come as some surprise to someone gay when actually they start finding themselves attracted to the opposite sex. It can be equally as confusing and worrying. “How can I fall in love with you?” Your life can feel turned upside down, you can feel pressurised to conform – to continue being gay when actually your desire to be with someone from the opposite sex is so strong.

Peer pressure may mean that you have to hide your true desires and needs from those around you and you may feel trapped by your life choices and feel unable to address the issues you now feel ‘I’ve always been Gay – what is happening to me?’ All that fighting against discrimination, all that heartache, was it all in vein? What about all the people who have been waiting to tell me...

“I told you so”, “I knew it was only a phase …”

Are you willing to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of this internal battle? You can find the resolution that you need to move your life in the direction that YOU choose. Find out how by visiting ourconsulting website, orcontact ustoday to book your consultation.

Change your life today … Live, don’t just survive

At The Naked Gene Juggler,we believe that your sexual identity is more about who you really are, than the box into which you are supposed to fit, that you are more than the sum of these limiting sexual definitions.

Wherever you are in your journey of self discovery, we can help you with the many varied challenges that you face.

Be proud of who you really are and feel totally comfortable in your own skin.

Take the opportunity to be the director of your own life

Ready to make a change?

To find out more and book your initial constulation, visit our consultancy sitetoday.